


Living The Dream #2: Leather And Feathers (or, In Space, No One Can Hear You Sing 'Happy Birthday')

by PepperF



Series: Living The Dream [2]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Space Pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-17
Updated: 2011-06-17
Packaged: 2017-10-20 12:25:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/212749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperF/pseuds/PepperF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack's space pirate birthday. Could not be any fluffier. Really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living The Dream #2: Leather And Feathers (or, In Space, No One Can Hear You Sing 'Happy Birthday')

**Author's Note:**

> (Space) pirate cliché-palooza. Cam hasn't been included, mainly because it was starting to get crowded. On the other hand, Vala has now joined the crew because... it's space pirate fic. Duh.

Part One: Jack Loves Vala

 

"So? What d'you think?"

Jack's mouth opened, but he only succeeded in producing a small, choked noise. He closed it again. Opened it and tried again. Still no luck.

Sam grinned. "That good, eh?"

His mouth opened and closed a few more times, and he stared, wide-eyed. Like a goldfish. Caught in headlights. Jack briefly saw the amused twinkle in Sam's eyes, but was having trouble keeping his gaze that high. It kept drifting down...

Yow.

He tried to force a sensible sentence past his lips.

"...buh..."

Sam's grin broadened.

He clapped his hands over his eyes, and finally gained control of his voice. "Vala!" he yelled, making Sam jump. The other woman appeared with suspicious alacrity – almost as if she'd been eavesdropping.

"Yes, oh great and loud Captain?"

"Did you talk her into getting..." he uncovered his eyes and waved the hand somewhat wildly at Sam – or, more precisely, Sam's new outfit, " _that_?"

Vala raised her eyebrows. "Ye-es," she admitted, cautiously. She squeaked in alarm as Jack swept across the cabin towards her, but he only enfolded her in a huge hug.

"I love you!" he said, fervently.

"Hey!" protested Sam. Jack glanced back at her, down at the outfit, and then forcibly dragged his eyes away again.

"I'll deal with you in a minute, Sam," he said, tightly. "Just let me thank Vala whilst I can still be polite."

Sam blushed, a damask shade that nicely complemented the burgundy of the leather. Vala patted Jack on the shoulder, stepping back quickly when he released her. "Have fun, tiger," she purred. Jack turned to look at Sam again, who turned even rosier at the ferocity of his gaze. She shot a look at Vala, who winked at her from behind Jack.

"Shoo," hissed Sam, making flapping motions. "And close the door!"

Jack allowed himself a small grin as the door closed. It wasn't a reassuring grin. It had teeth. "Bestest birthday present _ever_ ," he declared.

And pounced.

\---

Part Two: Red's A Nice Color On You

 

Her other present hadn't been so well-received.

Well, it had been by Jack, but the rest of the crew might never forgive her.

"Don't have a cow!"

As one, three sets of eyes turned to stare accusingly at Sam. She shrugged helplessly at Daniel, Teal'c, and Vala. "I didn't think it through, okay?" She was beginning to feel that she'd apologized enough.

"Indeed," said Teal'c, frostily.

"D'oh! Eat my shorts!"

Daniel growled slightly under his breath. "Sam, do something about it, will you?"

"What can I do?" she asked.

"I don't care! Stop him teaching the damn thing those phrases, for one thing!"

Vala put a hand up. "Votes for a little impromptu barbeque?" Daniel and Teal'c put their hands up. Sam wasn't entirely sure they were joking.

"Touch Maggie at your own peril," said Jack, speaking up in defense of his new pet. He waggled a bandaged finger warningly in their direction. "She's got a sharp nip," he said, proudly.

"She's very pretty," said Sam, somewhat desperately. And Maggie was indeed a beautiful bird - an oily blue-lavender color, fading to pale green at the wingtips. She seemed to be a parrot – or alien parrot substitute, anyhow, most likely an example of parallel evolution - and the moment Sam saw her, she'd known that Jack would get a kick out of that. And she'd been right. He'd laughed delightedly, and declared he was getting an eyepatch next. It just hadn't occurred to her what would happen if Jack was given charge of a creature to which he could teach words. Obviously she'd been having a blonde moment. She only did that occasionally, but when she did it was always spectacular.

"Mm! Donuts! D'oh!"

The loveliness of the plumage didn't appear to be softening anyone's hearts towards the bird. And, admittedly, she was a bit annoying. Sam opened her mouth to try another tack - but was interrupted by another sharp squawk from Maggie.

"Oh Jack! Right there Jack!"

Sam froze. Four sets of eyes turned to her. She was fairly sure she'd never turned this crimson before. Jack was, of course, grinning broadly, completely unembarrassed. Smug, in fact. Bastard.

"Yes Jack! Right there! D'oh!"

Sam closed her mouth with a snap, gritting her teeth. That was _it_. The flea-bitten feather-duster wouldn't live to see Jack's next birthday.

\---

AVAST!


End file.
